Wednesday, June 1, 2011

On a personal note

I'm writing this mostly to clear my head.  I have several friends on FB that have been pregnant since I've had my son and I'm afraid I may have been offending them accidentally.  You see many of my friends are of the "crunchy" sort and I probably would be too if it were not for all my experiences.  I originally wanted the midwife homebirth, no drugs route.  And then my complicated mess began.  I was diagnosed with a septate uterus and then I had a miscarriage after taking fertility drugs.  Then it was 2 surgeries and a devastating miscarriage at 17 weeks which involved an induction and a hospital delivery of a fetus that was so immature we couldn't clearly tell the gender but we could easily see her resemblance to my husband and now my son. 

When I did have a successful pregnancy with my son, it wasn't normal like most of my lovely friends have had.  Heck, I didn't know most of you while I was pregnant so you only know from what I've told you after the fact. I had a complicated pregnancy, lots of cervical checks by ultrasound and growth checks and non-stress tests.  It included injections twice a day to keep my blood from clotting and progesterone support until the second trimester.  At 23 weeks I was hospitalized and given betamethasone to speed up the growth of my son's lungs because they were afraid I would deliver early.  I was bedrested from that point until I had my son at 38 weeks and 5 days.   I had to have a c-section because of my bleeding risk and because my son was frank breech and had been since about 20 weeks; my septum that I had had removed back in '05 had just enough of a lip to keep him from going anywhere but where he was.

I'm not typing all this because I want anyone to feel sorry for my experience.  I know every day what I went through to bring my son here and if I though the outcome would be the same I would gladly do it again.  I'm saying all this though because I wanted you to know that my experience wasn't normal and I can't relate to the normal experience very well.  I'm sorry if my experiences offend you when I chime in with how things went for me.  That's not my intention at all.  I'm also not trying to be a bummer - promise!  I'm always so glad when things do go normally for other people and I'm a little sad when they don't.  Oh and I always worry when you shirk off medical help in favor of the "natural way", but that is because of my experience...try not to take that too personally or offensive either- you'd do the same in my shoes.

Anyhow, it always makes me emotional to have to recant all the details of things prior to my son's arrival so I'm done. 

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