I'm mosting venting this for myself. My SIL is causing me grief and my solution is to cut off communication to her...not sure if this is temporary or permanent but she has to show some improvement before I reopen communication with her. The deal is that her ex has a history of drug addiction (specifically crack-ntm he hooked my SIL on the stuff), stalking, verbal abuse and tax evasion. She has a son out of her marriage prior to him and a daughter from a different relationship so her ex has no relation to either child. Her daughter believes that the ex is her daddy (she does know he's not her bio dad, just emotionally dad) and wanted to see him yesterday. I contend that he is no daddy and has no business in her life, is even dangerous to her wellbeing and nothing but heartache will come from this. She wants to make her daughter happy. I argue that this won't make her happy, just make her want him more. Anyhow the arguement goes on and ends with her telling me she won't send her off to him. Welp she lied. She sent her off and to the best of my knowledge it was so she could go off and party. I don't really have anything against a girl having a good time. I do have a problem with her lying, her sending her daughter to this awful man, her shirking her parental duty to have a good time and to make her girl "happy". As a parent I do believe you have a responsibility not to keep your kids happy, but to protect them from dangerous people (like him), to keep them around people who are of good character and influence (he's not that)! Well, taking my own advice....no more contact with her. I need to keep my son protected and unfortunately I guess that now means her. I can't trust her to be off of the drugs, to protect her own kids, or to be a good influence.
If she reads this and I suppose its possible although unlikely, this message is for you: You need help. I believe if you are indeed off the drugs as you say you are, you still need rehab- for the emotional side and for the self medicating. You need counseling to get over you ex, maybe your daughter does too and you need to be honest with your daughter as to why she cannot see him any longer. I love you but unless you make changes I can't talk to y0u or keep you an active part of my life or my sons. You can talk to my husband as much as you like but I will be letting the phone go to voicemail when you call or having him answer it.